September 17, 2011

One More Week Down!

Alright, so my week. I don't even know what to say. I think more than anything, this week has exemplified a week of routine. Nothing huge, amazing, new, or exciting has really happened. There have been no Elder Hollands, no departing missionaries, and no huge revelations, just the smaller, more gradual kind of learning.

I guess the one thing that stands out about this week is that we started playing soccer in the field every day. Seriously, that's the biggest change.
But that doesn't mean this week hasn't been good! In fact, this week has been great. See, what's happened is I've finally started setting goals that I should have been setting the whole time, as far as learning Spanish and being a good companion and studying the Gospel go. These are the kind of goals that I can measure, that I report to myself, that make me reach, but yet are attainable, and that are focused on what I need to improve on. So now, instead of being in a constant state of being rebuked by others, I'm more in a constant state of being rebuked by myself and I won't lie, it's nice to take personal responsibility for your own development. I feel in control. I am my own motivator, desiring the things of Christ and devising plans, based on that hope, in order to achieve my innermost desires. Then, I act on faith, trusting to the Lord that my efforts will be rewarded with increased understanding, patience, and knowledge. I review to myself, studying in my mind whether I have achieved the intended results, whether I am on my intended path, off it, or finished with it, and whether the Lord would approve of my efforts. I then re-evaluate, modifying goals and strategies, constantly desiring to improve myself and my methods. This way, when I kneel down to pray at night, I have no shame in asking the Lord if my offering is enough. I know it has been enough because it is all I can do in this given day. The next day, hopefully, I will be capable of more. I think that's the key to being content in the Lord: Have you done enough in your mind? If you wonder whether your efforts fall short, let me testify this to you-That wonder is your own subconscious telling you that you are capable of more. You will have no shame in your work for the day if you have truly exhausted your limits. Feel the immediate sleep and sleep with dreamless ease. This is the reward of exhausting yourself, of giving your all to the Lord. And He will know that it is what you can do.

Of course, this whole thing isn't perfect. The fatal flaw is that I am an inherently lazy person and therefore this blueprint, if you will, only applies occasionally. Most of the time, when I sit down to write in my journal, I know exactly what I could have done better. But of course, those just become my new goals and the process repeats.

Here's an interesting happening of the week: One day, while playing soccer, Elder Wheeler (who folds his clothes before they go in the laundry basket to be washed) and I were playing defense, as we always do, when a certain Zone Leader whom I love came charging at us with the intent of trying to score a goal. Acting heroically, rashly, and completely losing my head, I bravely did what any soccer player would do in that situation, provided that they suffered from a debilitating head injury, and I ran into him. It hurt. Several minutes later, the situation repeated itself, but this time, Elder Wheeler (who invented a very useful word, Kershmeggle) ran into the Zone leader Whom I Love.

A consequence of this is that Elder Wheeler (who hasn't received a package or letter in two weeks) severely sprained his knee and we got to go visit the wide and scary outside world of Provo in order to stop by the BYU Student Health Center. It was fun to see things other than the brown and boring buildings of the MTC for a change. Also, I realized how many good memories I have of the Provo area already and how little bad memories I have of the Provo area. College has been good and it's nice to know that I can look forward to something after my mission.

Well, I'm out of time. I hope to hear from you soon!



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