Two Decades Worth of Life

So, I've been alive for awhile. When I was born, fanny-packs were in. Now.....fanny-packs are still "in" if you ask the unusually large population of hippies that we can find here in Puerto Angel. But yup, in the mission, I'm still not even nine months old and even if I was, it wouldn't matter because one fact never changes here in Oaxaca: you always work your butt off because this is the Lord's time, not yours. It's something I struggle to remember sometimes, but when the Lord blesses you magnificently, the first thing you should is thank Him with words and the second is thank Him with Actions: I'll be working this last week of the transfer. 

To explain: We've had kind of a tough transfer. We've worked a lot, Elder Perez and I, and it  just hasn't netted us very big results. We've been confused, angry, exhausted, sad, motivated, determined, defeated, and lively at various points during the last five weeks, but I, personally (okay, with a little help from my President), came to a conclusion that made this week better. The Lord doesn't really have it in mind that we put a lot of baptismal dates or that a lot of investigators come to Church or that we find a lot of new people. He just wants us to help the branch in whatever way we can. So that is what we've tried to do this week. We concentrated on two things: activities and inactive members. We planned two branch activities for the first time since a disastrous branch activity in the first week of the transfer (only Branch President and Alan showed up on time. We showed up late. Nobody else came). We've been hyping and organizing them all week and right now I'm going to go print out invitations to give to everybody. The first activity is a soccer/volleyball/basketball game that we are going to do with the youth of Pochutla. The don't have the infamous "Churchball" here in Mexico, but I'm gonna do my best to start it. The youth seem ecstatic. THe second activity is a Family HOme Evening as a Branch. We are assigning every organization something and giving them plenty of advance in order to get them preparing. We're hoping for a better showing this time. So that's the activities section of our weeks work. On to the inactives!

We've been working with like four inactives the last couple of weeks. They haven't been coming to Church, but, to be fair, nobody visits them and we only did when we were sick of getting rejected during door contacts. This week, they became our priority because, to be perfectly blunt, we don't have any investigators. So we visited them multiple times. This strategy netted us our lowest numbers since my first transfer in the mission. But the blessings came yesterday when we nearly hit the fourty person mark in Sacrament meeting and the only people I've baptized (three VERY timid youth) all gave excellent talks. We almost cried in happiness. It really is true; once you get your will in line with the Lord's, everything just starts to work out. Let's here it for a more prayerful and spiritually sensitive week six!

Okay, as a birthday gift to all you, I'm sending you fotos finally!!! THese fotos include me eating my first Iguana tamale (yes, I've eaten an animal that looks like a dragon. Predator points for me), the pictures of the first baptism I ever had way back from my Bosque days that I never sent you (remember Julio German? Yup, finally found that memory card), me building a store by hand, a family home evening where I learned to cook kentucky fried chicken, and pictures from my college days that I found on that very same memory card just to remind you all that yes, a long time ago, I was a real boy. 

I just want to add that the tyrel story of the week really, really touched me, especially when Dad wrote, "I will never hold the Priesthood." It just hit me how special it was that I have it and that I have the duty to properly uphold it for the sake and benefit of people like Tryel who are denied the opportunity. I can bless, administer, preach, teach, heal, baptize, and receive revelation, that precious communication between us and the God who knows and loves us all perfectly, if I but uphold my priesthood worthily. It is an utter shame when somebody willingly chooses to reject that gift when there are millions in the world without the chance to receive it right now. The other thing that hit me was how precious the Savior's sacrifice for our family. Tryel will not and cannot do those precious ordinances of Salvation while on this earth, but thanks to Christ, he does not have to. He is saved, as an innocent child, and all we have to do is care as much as we can for him physically and teach him what we know. Finally, it's such a blessing to have him as my little brother. The example that he sets is without match. I wish I could love as much as that little boy, but I don't think it's possible. He just outloves us without even really trying. I think sometimes that it's his super Autism power. Man, I miss him. 

Anyway, loves ya all. I'm doing great right now and I'll send word whether I stay or go, hopefully next monday. Buh-bye!

Elder Johnson

Ending with a Bang!

Dear Mother, hey, SURPRISE! I'm writing earlier this week. Because we didn't go play basketball like we usually do. We'll see if I survive the week without my weekly dose of basketball, but we wanted to clean the house a little bit better and actually be around when the garbage truck passed by. So now I have time to write earlier. Also, just an Elder Johnson-ism: I will have two years until I have one year and one year until I have zero. Counting down months just makes things go slower.

 Anyway, this week did not start off too hot. I did have to give my first zone training conference on how to use the scriptures on Tuesday, but in order to do that, we had to go to Huatulco, which is an hour and a half away. So that killed a lot of our Tuesday. Wednesday was just straight up not that fruitful. THursday, I came down with a stomach infection (I think from all the fish that I eat here. I no longer hate fish because I don't like the flavor, but I am certainly sick of it. More salsa please). We tried to make the most of our time in the house, planning future lessons, talking about how to find new investigators, you know, stuff like that, but we couldn't fill up all the hours. So I ended up explaining the plot to the entire star wars saga using the star wars playing cards that I can't remember if I received them from you or the Greenhalghs. The end of the week, thankfully ended well. Friday, we at least accomplished, finding a new investigator and teaching Antonio and Arsenia (who did NOT come to church - we will be talking about this with them tomorrow, thank you very much). Saturday was straight up spectacular, finding new investigators, teaching member lessons and ARMANDO PRAYED!!!! Hallelujah!!!

! Okay, maybe a little side note: So, in the beginning of my last transfer, I baptized three kids: Adriana, Ricardo, and Angelica. All are still active, thank you very much, because we still go to visit them. Armando is their cousin who lives with them. All are pretty timid people, but Ricardo and the gang at least say yes when we ask them to do things like come to church and read the Book of Mormon. Armando does not. He is the "stinker" of the group. He does not go to school, he flicks paper at his cousins while they listen to us, he gives us short, one word answers if we ask him a question, and so on and so forth. We had pretty much given up on him, but we still invited him to the lessons because that's what good missionaries do (Preach My Gospel says that we should invite everyone to the lessons). And this is why you listen to Preach My Gospel: Armando, every time we invited him, would never respond. He sometimes would just get up and leave. But he always came back, sit himself a few meters aways from the group, and kind of listen. When we started with the compromises, he would say no and leave. Always. But in this last lesson, several things changed: First, we didn't have to invite. When Ricardo and Angelica came to listen, Armando went and got his chair and purposefully put it right behind his cousins (not several meters away). Then, we taught. When we got to the compromises, we asked Armando if he wanted to read the Book of Mormon too. Instead of saying no and leaving, he didn't respond. I asked if just reading a half a chapter for a week would be fine. He said it would. My companion asked him if he would actually read. He said yes. Then we got to the closing prayer. Hardly daring to breathe, we asked Armando if he would like to say the prayer. He said he didn't know how. We gave him the guide. And he DID IT!!! It's hard to get Ricardo and Angelica to pray and they're baptized and come to church every week (by they way, they are giving their first talks this Sunday. We will be helping them). So major progress with Armando. Saturday was easily the best day we've had all transfer. We were so happy we went and bought Tlayudas and a cokon (read: large coke) for dinner.

 So the Spirit works with everyone, even rebellious 14 year olds. I still don't exactly understand why the Lord is not giving us many results here in Puerto Angel, but I learned something very important this week: Everybody hears the Spirit. It's the missionary's job to bring it. I know I'm doing a good work here and that my offering is being accepted. There's really nothing else to say except I've got to get out, get working, and get progressing again. Day after day. It's what the mission is and what life should be.

 Well, the business stuff. Nope, really don't have any requests for my box. Just pictures and family updates and fruit certs. If you don't have pictures, go on the computer and print off old ones from Facebook and whatever files dad still has on there. Please. I love my pictures. Drunk people have all the same motivations to un-drunk (I think there are like three AA chapter in PUerto Angel alone) except, as I may have stated before, I'm pretty sure working is more of a way to fill time than to earn money because everybody seems to spend most of their days in hammocks and yet still have money to buy alcohol and tlayudas. Go figure. Mother's Day is May 10 and the only problem with figuring out the phone call is that I have transfers April 30 and there is a good chance I will be leaving Puerto Angel, which means that whatever preparations I do here could very well be null and void by the time the phonecall rolls around. Love you all. God is real. He blesses us and knows us better than we know us.

 Keep it classy. Love, Elder Johnson

 P.S. My drunk story was a joke story. And wish Kumi happy birthday for me (I am with you with the coolest person on the planet thing). And there had better be a trampoline for me when I get back ;)

Peace out, girl scouts

Hey, better late than never, right mom? Sorry that this has taken so long to get to you. We had a freak blowout tire in our return from Pochutla on our P-day and it restricted us from getting to the internet in time. But here we are again. Week 3 in Puerto Angel, transfer 2 down. And well, it was a week of work. Every week here is a week of work. We just work, all the time. We walk up and down the hills, we sweat a lot, we talk to a lot of new people, we help at every opportunity we get, and we work. What God wants to give us in terms of physical results is His decision. Our responsability is just to keep trying to do His will. So we work. With smiles and with faith. By the by, I totally turned 8 months in the mission this week. Only 2 years left to go, right?

Anyway, so on to how I'm doing. I'm tired. But that probably has something to do with winning our intense four person game of 21 on a last second for the second week in a row. I'm feeling it. Maybe because playoff time is just around the corner. Who knows. I sport my Jazz shirt at all times that I can these days to show that I'm thinking about them when I am not thinking about the investigators. Wow, being a missionary really has changed me. I've tempered my Jazz obsession for the Lord. This is what we call "building your mansion in Heaven," right?

Back to Elder Johnson's life. So we've sort of kind of been obsessed with finding new investigators these past couple of weeks. Aside from one awesome couple (Antonio and Arsenia, who, although they haven't come to church yet, show all the signs of being converts), our investigators don't really want to progress. And, unfortunately, we cannot take their agency away from them because that why we fought against Satan so long ago in the first place. Funny how we fought so hard for it and now it's the thing that damages us. Bummer. But I guess God's got it all worked out, so I'll just trust in Him.

So we've mostly been working with contacting and trying to help the recent converts and inactive members come to Church. This is a surprising dificult task in Puerto Angel. We're a tiny branch of like 20-30 people and a bajillion inactives, but the inactive just refuse to come to Church. I don't know why. It frustrates me. We went to an inactive family's house the other day (trying to follow the General Conference advice that helping the inactives is a very important task) and the hermana that we found there answered "I don't remember" to the question "What's your name?" That's when we figured she didn't really want to talk to us.

But on to happier things! So we helped a drunk change his life this week. We were walking in the street (going to a recent convert's house who had recently taken to alcohol again, as a matter of fact) when Arturo greeted us. I have now been in Puerto for over 2 months and a day has not gone by when I have not seen Arturo. Also, I have never seen Arturo not drunk. At times, I wonder if he really drinks and if it isn't actually just his real personality, but then I see the alcohol bottle in his hand. He is always drunk. The other drunks of Puerto Angel I've seen sober. Not Arturo. That man's liver hates him. Luckily, he's a really nice drunk. Anyway, so he greeted us. He likes to ask us for our pamphlet and only God knows why because he doesn't know how to read. But he always asks. At this point, we've given him every pamphlet we own. So we didn't want to give him one on this occasion. The conversation went something like this:
"Hey, give me one of your little books!"
"NO because you're drunk."
"But I want one!"
"Then you need to stop drinking."
"I'm going quit drinking!"
"Good. When are you going to quit?"
"Tomorrow!!!"
"Then we'll give you a book tomorrow."
"Okay!!!!!!"

Folks, this is why you never put off for tomorrow what you can do today. That's really the coolest thing that happened this week, other than God answering a few prayers, chastising me in several ways, and teaching me a bit of humility. I'm not His best servant, but we're learning. Anyway, got to go, but I love you all and I hope you celebrate Easter just as happily as you should. Peace out, girl scouts
Love,
Elder Johnson

Post Conference

So, I'm coming off a nice little vacation. Conference, as you know, comes in two hour sessions with two hours of breaks inbetween. To get from Puerto Angel to Huatulco (where they showed conference), it is two hours. Lets do the math: two hours to get there (8-10), session (10-12), break/lunch (12-2), session (2-4), break/more food (4-6), priesthood session 6-8 and not enough time to get home. So we stayed in Huatulco, in our zone leaders house, with me sleeping on an air mattress (fond memories of camping with the entire family). Then, more conference. We didn't get home until 8 pm on Sunday, which did not give us enough time to do much proselytizing. And guess what? Today is P day. I have a full 2 and a half day vacation, filled with spiritually edifying moments. It's been exactly what I need.

Don't worry much about me and my area. Really, I shouldn't complain: if there's not much work in missionary work, then the thing to do is go and find more work. So that's what we are doing and going to do. I we have a few encouraging things: first, we have a lovely young couple who shows all the signs of actually do the neccessary things to experience conversion. They are reading the Book of Mormon, saying prayers, recognizing the Holy Ghost, giving us references, and leaving the alcohol behind. They are my hope right now, although we've got a couple other investigators doing well as well. For example, we have Floriza, who has read like half the Book of Mormon and really knows it's true, but has yet to go to Church and therefore does not know for sure if this is the right Church. We'll get her with time, just you watch. Another encouraging thing: the members are working with us again. Branch President Juan and Elders Quorum President Hmo Rodas are both working with us two times a week. We might not have very many baptismal dates, but things are looking up in Puerto Angel.

So, things I learned from Conference: Priesthood holders are not better than other men, but they should act better. Priesthood is not so much a blessing as a commision. We have a divine duty to do the will of the Lord and unfortunately, many modern priesthood holders (myself included) do not have that mindset. We seem to think that the Church is fine when it is convenient. Sometimes, it is more convenient for some people than for others, but that doesn't change the flaw in the mindset. We need to put God first, and that means sacrificing more time, more energy, and more everything in the service of our fellows, inactive, active, and non-member. This duty is sacred, but slightly less sacred than the duty of raising a family. I just want to thank you, mom and dad, personally for having the inspiration to follow all of the prophetic counsel we received this weekend well before it was actually given. During every talk on the family, I was able to sit there and think of all the times in my life when my mom or dad taught me that specific principle in word and in deed.

It was a good conference, but I think what stuck with me most was what President Monson said in his closing words on Sunday. He said (more or less) that he hopes that everybody leaves this conference better people than when they came into the conference. That means the Prophet of God hope for an inmediate and direct application of what we learned. That means goal setting and changing. Changing is hard, folks. I know. But we've got to do it to become better people and to follow our Prophet truly.

By the by, I also wanted to say that I literally laughed out loud (I lol'ed) reading your Tyrel/bowling story. I love Tyrel stories with all my heart. It's one of the reasons you are the best mom ever. You send me tryel stories that I can't properly explain to my companion in Spanish because you just can't fully communicate who Tryel is or how special he is sometimes. I love that kid. Other thing: my pants size has not changed, but I don't remember what it is. And it's kind of awkward to check in a public internet. Finally, I have a request, if it's possible. I wouldn't mind getting an mp3 for my year mark in August. If you don't want to risk sending one, I can live without it, but it's my small request. We can listen to Disney, BYU Vocal Point, classical, anything Church related (from Motab to soundtracks like music from The Singles Ward), Christmas, Alex Boye, and more. It's worth having one, I've decided, and I've also decided to swallow my pride and ask for one after point blank refusing to take one on my mission with me despite Dad's best efforts. Sorry dad, I was hard headed. I'm trying to change, believe me.
Anyway, I love y'all and we are going to get to work again!
Love, Elder Johnson

EARTHQUAKE!!!!!!! I think?

So I'm good. I wasn't even aware there was an earthquake until like 2 hours after when our zone leaders called us, very worried, and asked us if we were okay. Yup and I'll tell you why in the same manner that the Puertans explained it to us: the earthquakes that do damage here are like this ^ v. The one we experienced went like this < >. Didn't even feel it and very few of the residents of Puerto Angel felt it either. However, it did kill our water for like two days, which was a little bothersome because I hate showering out of a bucket (when you sweat ALL day and shower out of a bucket, you just are never clean) and it may have affected our electricity, which we lost for like half a day yesterday but has already come back. Everybody here in the coast is fine, but I don't know about the city of Oaxaca. You just don't really communicate with the city when you get stuck in the coast. We are quite literally trapped in Paradise.

Anyway, big, big news of the week, guys: SPANISH PLAYING CARDS ONLY HAVE 40 CARDS!!!!! It really weirds me out. Instead of having A, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, J, Q, K it goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 11, 12. I know. Beats me too. I guess 7 really did eight nine (HAH! get it? Although it doesn't fully explain the mysterious absence of 8. Maybe it ran away? I'll have Cam Jan and Scooby-Do go investigate). So yeah, just so you are all a little more culturally aware, spanish playing cards have only 40 cards. Don't you forget it either.

All right, so the truth of why I'm writing about spanish playing cards and scooby do is because this week was a little depressing in Puerto Angel. We worked, Elder Perez and I. We really wanted to work too because I'm the first companion Elder Perez has had who is not dead (dead missionaries are those who no longer work, who stay in their houses, talk to the girlfriends, and have their personal movie collections). So we visited and visited and really tried hard to help these people out but these are the results: Two former Alcoholics drinking again, stumbling upon an investigator listening to a missionary from a different church, zero investigators in church, and a pathetic sacrament meeting with a depressed branch president. Puerto Angel is suffering right now and I want to help it out so bad. We're are going to find new people this week, I promise you, me, Puerto Angel, and God that. I think I've been a little bit timid in calling people to repentance as well, which is something that I plan on changing. Not being overbearing is important, but we can't forget about being bold. Somebody in the MTC (translation: a seventy or Jeffrey R Holland) told me that those who are afrain to call people to repentance love themselves more than their friends or investigators. It's very true. If I want to help these people, I have to tell them a little more how it is.

As for box stuff, I really just need baptismal pants, a baptismal tie (for that baptism that I know is somewhere here in Puerto Angel!), pictures, and a car. Because Elder Perez and I are sick of all these hills we have to climb here in Puerto Angel. Kidding, but seriously. I did really enjoy that 52 card thing you sent for Valentine's Day. It's so weird, you think before the mission that the box stuff you look forward to will be the cookies and candies, but man, now I just go straight for the pictures. I also could use like a bajillion bottles of raid because I am ready to take my war against ants outside. I am constantly fighting against ants, and I can never fully win. If I fight them out of the kitchen, they go into the bathroom. If I fight them out of the bathroom, they go to the kitchen. If I fight them out of both, they go to my desk. I hate ants! But I'll get over it.

Anyway, I really don't have much to say. I hope you are all doing well and tell Grandma Dora that I am praying for her and that I love her. Tell Dad thank you for all the inspirational things he sends me and the constant letters though I don't ever write him back. And tell yourself that you are the best mom in the world and I will tell you exactly why in 2 years when I get home. Bye ýall (yeah, I just put a spanish accent mark on a southern contraction that doesn't tecnically exists. What you gonna do bout it?).
Love, Elder Johnson

P.S. Don't actually send me a gabajillion bottles of Raid. Don't actually send me any because I can buy them here. And I do look forward to the other stuff in the boxes as well, just the pictures a little bit more.

It's been a busy week in the life of the first counselor in the branch presidency.
Kidding! I'm not actually the first counselor. I just do all his jobs. I had to conduct my very first sacrament meeting this sunday and I also had to count tithing with the President because there was literally nobody else. I was worried though, about breaking rules. I don't think un-set apart missionaries should be doing at least the tithing thing. But oh well - it's over and done. It was at least a learning experience.

This is also the hallowed week of the transfers. I'm staying here in Puerto Angel, but Elder Luna is leaving. He's off to the city to train. I will stop training/being trained for the first time since I arrived in Mexico. I will continue being District Leader. It was pretty much what I expected and it's a good thing because we are starting to find a bunch of young couples with baptismal potention. Also, more kids are coming out of the woodwork to become baptismal candidates as well. It's been awhile without baptisms for me, but I'm thinking this week or the next we´ll have one or two here in Puerto Angel. And there's always Luis Enrique, who just needs to get over being part of the "system."

By the by, I realized something about my letters: I have a tendency to forget all of my cool/funny stories from the beginning of the week and only tell you all about the end, which is actually pretty slow. I'm going to try to change that, though maybe not this week because I'm drawing blanks right now.

Hmm, the week. It's been a week, that's for sure. It's hard to recall the cool stories. We played electricians twice as Elder Luna and I installed an outlet in the house of an eternal investigator and fixed a blown fuse in the house of a new investigator. A former drug attic told us of a story of a guy who was in a coma and had a dream of going to heaven and passing three degrees of "heaven" (yeah we capitalized on the Plan of Salvation set up). One of our investigators and one of our converts fell off the wagon, unfortunately, and started drinking again. Together. Ooops. That was a bad match. Such is the life of Puerto Angel: No priesthood because the men of this town are caught by the plague of alcohol. We'll overcome the plague eventually, just you wait.

Anyway, next week will be a more exciting addition of "Elder Johnson goes to the Beach," I promise. I trying to refocus myself a little bit right now and I hope it shows in next week's letter. Just hope you all know how much you mean to me and that I look up to you and you motivate me to be my best. I'll write again next monday!
Love,
Elder Johnson

Two Facts Vital to Your Salvation

So, we just got taught a lesson in humility by a drunk man last night (please, read the following story in tones of heavy sarcasm). We were on our way home to go study Spanish and English a bit when we saw a man singing and dancing quite alone in the middle of the street. We thought there was a chance he was inebrieated and resolved not to talk to him, which of course meant that he immediately spotted us and demanded our attention. He quizzed us on our Bible knowledge to make sure that we weren't lying to the people we are teaching. We learned quickly that, contrary to popular belief, we don't know everything. First he asked us this, "What is the name of the Mount of Olives?" Us, a tadbit unsure, answered with what we had learned, "Señor, we're pretty sure that the name of the mount of Olives is the Mount of Olives." This was not the right answer and he got a little angry with us. After trying to leave, he caught up with us and asked us, "How many books are in the Bible?" We were absolutely clueless with this question and told him so. He called us liars and idiots and told us to go back to the United States because we can't teach if we don't know how many books the Bible has. We asked him, very kindly, if he could tell us. He replied that he didn't know either. So we left, humbled, by this kind man who took time out of his busy night to teach us valuable spiritual lessons. Next time, we will take the secret way to the house, under the only mango tree that doesn't have ripe mangos right now.
Dont worry mom, the drunks arent dangerous because they aren't capable of walking quickly and we are masters of the "missionary pace." We generally don't have experiences like that, but every once and a while they are unavoidable. As are the scorpions in the bathroom. Don't worry about those either: I already have my bottle of Raid Max and my companion knows how to take off their stings, which is why we brought a scorpion with us in the hour and a half ride to Huatulco in a cramped taxi. They are harmless without the sting and rather docile. I am also wise enough not to get close to them. Tarantulas are not deadly and are not in the house. You just have to watch were you step at night. I should probably talk about something spiritually uplifting to make you feel better now.

So, we've had this investigator named Luis Enrique since before I arrived in Puerto Angel. He's a student at the local college and is very willing to get baptized. The only reason he hadn't was because he wanted his parent (who live in the city of Oaxaca) to attend. Now, however, he says he'll get baptized with or without them. Here's the thing: despite his progression and the time we've had him, I did not meet him until Saturday. Everytime that we visited with him, I was doing divisions with another missionary. Just my luck. Anyway, on Saturday, we talked and he told us that he still wants to get baptized, but he didn't really want to be a member of the church (I know, a little weird). We got to talking about this and he shared with us his two big doubts: first, being part of the church "system." Second, tithing. We didn't have time to answer his doubts then, but we invited to come to the district conference (a district is like a branch but it's for small stakes. Instead of a stake we have a district and instead of wards we have branches). He did and guess what the two main topics were: The blessings of serving in callings and going to the temple (being part of the "system") and the blessings of tithing. Wow, God is watching out for our investigators. We talked to him a bit in the ride back (in the back of a truck with 9 people. Welcome to Mexico) (Also, without the scorpion, which had been captured by the youth of district Huatulco), and he told us that he loved the conference. I'm thinking he's feeling a little less doubtful for his baptism now. It's good to receive divine intervention from time to time. Always look for the hand of the Lord in your lives because it is there. Anyways, I've got to go now.

Dad, happy belated birthday. Sorry I can't do much for you right now, but I am memorizing one of the poems you've given me this week in tribute to all the things you've taught me over the course of my life. Hope you are doing great and know that I'm thinking of all of you. Love you! Bye!
Elder Johnson


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Dear fam-fam,
I know you've just been dying for pictures mom. Well, here they are. Pretty, isn't it? I have a surprisingly large amount of pictures of critters here. I just live with a lot of cool animals, except for the terrible dog that lives next door that can get no greater pleasure than barking in our faces EVERY SINGLE TIME WE WALK DOWN THE STAIRS! Other than that, lots of cool animals, including the scorpion that lives in our bathroom. He's cute.

****(I accused Riley of looking very sober in some pictures his mission president's wife took of him meeting Elder Scott and posted on facebook)*** Mom, what you mistook for soberness was actually reverence. Maybe tiredness as well. I had a great time and learned a lot. I certainly was not as sober during lunch when I got to talk to all my old pals. I met an Elder Kraft from Valley Center California who knows Beau. It was a wonderful conference, although it only lasted 9 hours. 9 hours in Oaxaca, 21 hours on a bus. NOt a good ratio, despite the large numbers of disney movies that we got to watch to and from the conference. I did get my box and I'm already sick from all the candy hearts, they do have daylights savings down here, as I found out one Sunday when I woke up a whole hour earlier than I had to. I think that covers all the business.

Oh my gosh, Avril Lavigne's "complicated" just popped on the radio here and I just got sent back into time. It's awful. Anyway, Joel now is super excited to get baptized from what the Pochutla Elders tell me. Dora is frustrating me a bit because she hasn't come to Church in two weeks and can't come this week because instead of Sacrament meeting, we have a district (we are not a stack, but a district here) conference in Huatulco (like an hour and a half away) this Sunday. But nevertheless, the work rolls on like a stone cut out of the mountain without hands (recently read the book of Daniel, who is a boss. Read it, Mom. Wonderful part of the Old Testament. He's like the Old Testament's John the Revelator mixed with Joseph of the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat).

I'm going to tell you all about Satornino this week. Yes, it's a weird name. Weird names are in abundance down here. Anyway, Satornino is an alcoholic whose wife is cheating on him because he cheated on her one and who is slowly losing his family. We met him a long time ago and it started off great. We had one lesson (which, I won't lie, I thought went kind of poorly) with him and for the next week he said he felt more peaceful than he had in his life and he didn't have any desire to drink and we put baptismal dates with him and his wife and we were saving their marriage. Then, instead of going to work one day, he decided to go drinking. And then he stayed out drinking for over a week. Like, didn't return to his house he was so drunk for over a week. So we visited him for the first time in like a week and a half yesterday and he didn't want to talk to us. But as we got going, he started opening up and sharing his feelings. We taught prayer again and a couple of things seemed to hit him this time that didn't the first time: that prayer doesn't have to be long, you say what you want to God, God is listening, and you feel really good during and after. We now wants us teaching his family again. Let's hear it for the power of prayer!

Anyways, I've got to go. HOpe you enjoy the pictures and the jabber. Love ya!
Elder Johnson

My weakness...

Mom, the Oscars do matter to me, as it turns out. Something I've learned here on my mission. I really, truly, honestly, love movies. But I cannot watch them. It only becomes a problem when we enter a house with the intention to teach and the first thing they do is bring up the recent movie they watched. Because then I go off, talking about movies for a good fifteen minutes. And then these investigators stop being investigators and start just being my friends and then I don't do my job as well as I could. So, yup, I guess the Oscars matter to me. But anyways, on to life.

So, I've run into a problem here in Puerto Angel. We did divisions with the zone leader last week and Elder Gonzales gave me a piece of advice that I've quickly and subconsciously become obsessed with. He told me that there are three types of investigators that we should really focus ourselves on and use our time with: Investigators who accept baptismal dates, investigators that go to church, and investigators who do both. Here's the problem: we don't have very many of those three. So I am constantly looking for new investigators. My all-world patience with my struggling investigators is slowly (quickly) vanishing. Instead of sticking with it until the change, I teach three lessons and then start looking for newbies. And Puerto is small. But life goes on.

We do have several cool stories/happenings of the week. First of all, my companion has conjunctivitis, so we went to the doctor on Friday. The doctor lives in Pochutla. We visited two (count 'em) places: the doctor and the pharmacy. We found three (count 'em) references for the Pochutlan Elders. Way to go with open your mouth, Elders! Third, Joel, the kid who did not believe in God a week ago, is ready to be baptised. He has done a lot of bad things in his life (more than I am legally entitled to say), but he wants to be baptized and he wants to change his life. I hope he stays active.

As for my investigators, our coolest would have to be Dora, the sister of three guys who my companion and his former companion tried to teach. We found her one day when we went to search for one of the drunks in my first week. She is progressing awesome. She loves the doctrine of the resurrection because whenever she thinks of her dead mom, she imagines her young and perfect again. She loves reading the Book of Mormon because it takes her away to a "real place." She knows going to Church is important. She will probably be my next baptism in two weeks.

Also, English is coming in handy. We were walking at like 8 oclock at night the other day. Note: Here, in Puerto Angel, 8 is bedtime. It makes it really hard to proselytize. I'm pretty sure nobody here works either. They just lie around in hammocks, finding money in the giant papayas that are falling like giant, dangerous, and delicious bombs. Anyway, walking at night when nobody was awake when all of the sudden a teenage girl jumped out at us and requested help with her English homework from the Guerro (person who does not have black hair, brown eyes, and dark skin). We are teaching her family tonight. We've also started English classes and we have like 8 students, an all time high for me.

Anyway, I've got to go. This weekend I will be getting on a bus for 10 hours to arrive in Oaxaca to hear an Apostle of the Lord speak, go to the temple, eat a good lunch, and then get back on a bus and drive another 10 hours to make it back to Puerto in time to bless the sacrament. I'm excited. Love you all. Bye
Love,
Elder Johnson

Apple POP

I've found my new addiction. It's called Lift and it is apple pop. Doesn't sound that special? Well, it's really not. This is really how I got addicted to apple pop (which we should have in the US, by the by). I don't know what happened, but the moment I left the city of Oaxaca (where it is, in fact, available), I began to crave Dr. Pepper. It does not exist out here. So I went on a mad search for Dr. Pepper. Instead I found Lift, which is good, but it's not dr Pepper. And now I drink one like everday.

Alright, on to important, cool things. I had my first baptism out here in the Coast. Actually, I had my first three. We baptised three youth, named Ricardo, Angelica, and Adriana. I, for some inexplicable reason, did not get photos of this baptism, so you might never really know who they are. Theyre good kids with good attitudes, and their grandpa is active, so i hope theyll stay active too. OUr branch sure needs it. 24 people showed up this sunday, down from 33 the Sunday before. We are small. We have like 2 active melchisedek priesthood holders who are not insane (The Hmo Anatolio, who is the only counselor in the Branch Presidency, is like 70 years old and insane. He gives talks when assigned prayers. He's a strange fellow). My companion and I have to bless the sacramant. We have a grand total of one young man (2, now with the baptism of Ricardo). ACtually, our young woman program is huge with like 9 active girls. Yeah, I know, bigger than our ward in Minnesota. Thats how we shape up. It's our job to grow the branch to a good size so we can get a chapel out here (we'll need about 80 active members for that). It's the goal. Retention is a little bit of a problem out here, but we're trying to work on that as well.

THis week has been a little crazy. Well, at least the end of it. This is how it went, starting with Thursday: Thurs - exchanges with the zone leaders. Fri - Exchanges with the Elders of Pochutla (my district). Sat - Training conference in Puerto Escondido (like 2 hours away - EVERYTHING IS FAR AWAY IN THE COAST!). Sun - Baptisms. Mon - Huatulco (an hour away) in order to play basketball with the zone. It's been crazy. I'm looking forward to a normal week of work this week, without any distractions. Divisions were an interesting experience. I learned a lot. For example, I went on divisions with Elder Aguirre de Pochutla and we had this lesson with a kid named Joel who was supposed to have been having his baptism this Sunday, but had some doubts because he hadn't received a response to his prayers. I asked him some questions about this, "What type of response are you expecting? Are you praying, reading, and going to church? Do you mean to follow the response you receive?" And all the answers he gave me indicated that he should, in fact, be receiving a response. I couldn't understand why God wasn't answering this kid. THen, before I was going to read a scripture story to help him, I casually tossed out the question, "Do you believe in God?" expecting the response to be a confident yes. Turns out, he's not sure God exists. This is why you need to ask your investigators questions folks. He wasn't receiving an answer to whether or not he should be baptized because he wasn't asking the right question. THe right question is: "God, please help me know that you exist."

Anyway, what do ya know, I'm alrighty out of time. By the By, I do have water know, as well as my clothes that I left in Bosque, with the exception of my baptismal pants and tie. THat made Sunday a little complicated. Look forward to the box. Love you all! Bye!
Love,
Elder Johnson

Like Seven Inches From the Midday Sun

Well, it's hot here. You just sweat all the time. You never stop. I stepped into an air conditioned building today for the first time in over 4 months and it felt a little bit like heaven. But anyways, here's the nuts and bolts on Puerto Angel. First of all, it is smaller than my last area. This is true, but my last area happened to be the biggest in the mission, so I would have said that for whatever area I received. It certainly doesn't feel that small, though. The town is built on a mountainside and the only flat part is the beach, to which we never go because it is a temptation and because nobody lives.((****I'm pretty sure Riley means "no one lives on the beach", rather than meaning if he goes on the beach, he will die!***)) So we constantly climb hills. My thighs will be huge after my time here. My companion (who is actually my fourth companion - Juarez, Edwards, Bridgeraj, Luna) is awesome. He's funny, a great cook, a hard worker, patient, tolerant, charitable, awesome. He is like the senior companion, although I am technically training him. One thing that we do differently here that I wish I had done in the city is we actually talk to everyone we meet. It nets us a bunch of new investigators of family members and neighbors of the people we are teaching. One thing that I do not like about what we do here is that we talk to drunks. Yes, they deserve a chance at the gospel too and yes, they probably need it more that most, but the truth is that like only 1 time out of 25 will a drinker actually change. And they waste a bunch of time. But I'm getting a little bit more into the swing of things and I should be having three baptisms this Sunday with three grandchildren of an inactive member who we activated.

Sorry, I tried to send you photos, but they are not working. Next week, perhaps, you'll see what kind of critters I'm meeting on the beach.

I haven't had water in my house since the day I arrived (I mean water to bathe and clean and wash your hands. WE have drinking water, don't worry), so we've been working off of a reserve that's about out. We're going to go kindly request water from the water people after this. I'm also getting into district leader mode. I plan training sessions, recieve all the news for the district, I have to do divisions next week, and I had to do my first baptismal interview, which was good. The work is progressing and I'm thinking that I might have a little more than 4 baptisms this transfer. OH yeah, package stuff: I don't really need anything, but here's the deal. Yes, the package will get to me. Yes, I will have to wait longer. If you send it now, I will probably recieve it March 3 when we are going to the city in order to lister to Elder Scott, who is coming here.

Don't worry about crime here. There's actually not that much, just a lot of drunk people, who we definitely avoid at night. I've got to go, but I love you and miss you all. Maybe I'll have time to tell some cool stories next week.

La Costa!

So, I got transferred everyone. I really wasn't expecting it, so there were some small disasters involved. I thought the Lord was going to leave me in Bosque just to teach me the value of patience and good work. Instead, he transferred me to paradise. A really hot, humid paradise. Everyone, Elder Johnson has moved to the coast. I was recently informed that the sand street that we live on is actually a dried up river that fills during the rainy season. So if it starts raining, I'll have to take a boat to cross the street. There are a bunch of gecko or lizard like creatures everywhere.  I've already drunk coconut milk directly from a freshly picked coconut. My area, called Porto Angel, has two beaches: the one close to my house and the nude one. Guess which one we avoid like Severus Snape avoids shampu? My area is like pure hills. I'm going to have really strong legs when I leave because I feel like we are climbing mountains all day. Also, I will lose all the weight I gained in the city (yup, pretty sure I gained like ten pounds, by the by) because you sweat constantly here. I love it. 

Also, I got called to be district leader. This is how my mission has gone thus far: First Transfer - Junior Companion, 1 baptism. Second Transfer - Senior Companion, 2 baptisms. Third Transfer - Trainer, 3 baptisms. Fourth transfer (being the current one) - District Leader, yet to be determined baptisms. I'm thinking four. Call me crazy, but that's what I'm feeling. I won't lie, I really feel a little bit unprepared for this responsability, but I trust God and my president. I guess I have something to contribute here. Oh yeah, I didn't write on Monday (I'm really sorry mom) because I was literally traveling all day. I left the bus station at 9:30 in the morning and got to Pachutla at 8:30. Pachutla is a half hour from my area, so that's where I stayed the night. The bus would have been really comfortable if Oaxacans knew how to make straight roads (curves for almost 10 hours do make you sick, no matter how strong a stomach), if the bathroom would have smelled better, if Elder Wagner hadn't of thrown up, if the bus would have had a mop, and if the didn't show movies because, if you can figure, when you are stuck for ten hours on a bus and reading makes you sick and you don't have a choice of listening to the sound or not, you end up watching the movie BrideWars, which does not help you concentrate on the mission, God, or even eternal marriages because I wanted to punch Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudsen by the end.

Anyway, I've got to go. I love my new area, I accidentally left all of my garments and socks in my old one so I have to wait 15 days for them to get mailed to me, I want to know how the Jazz are doing, not how the super bowl went, and I love you all. Sorry that these are so short and boring these days.

Love,

Elder Johnson

Breaking Lightbulbs

Hey family!

Just to get this burden off your minds, I did already receive my package. I received it on Tuesday, the day after the internet, so I couldn't tell you about it. I've also already eaten my package (craisins are delicious), let my district leader mysteriously break my piano, used the shoes, passed the time when I would need a sweater, and broken a lightbulb with that hackeysack you gave me. Yup, it's been an interesting package that has shaken up the monotony of Bosque.

I say that not because I love Bosque any less than I did. It's just that this last week, the moment arrived when I got bored of the same places, the same people, the same things all the time. I think it's a combination of factors: first, this is about the time of year when my winter funk arrives and I just get bored of everything. I generally contribute this funk to winter because it traps you inside, but that's not the case with Oaxaca. It might be the post holiday letdown I always experience. It could be that I have now been in Bosque longer than a semester, but without the breaks. My body is just begging for a change, which is coming up. This is the last week of the transfer and I've already been in Bosque a long time, so I could easily get moved. However, I have a kid you needs two transfers of training, and we've only been companions for one. So I could also very well be staying. I'm pretty lost as to what's going to happen to me, but for now, I will assume that I'm staying so that I am mentally prepared to weather the boredom and continue to at least strive to be the missionary that I want to be.

(Riley explains a bunch of pictures here, but I just left in the part that has a good story).

Next are pictures of the day when we found out that nerf bullets can stick to your forehead if you shoot at just the right distance. It was a pretty funny discovery. By the way, that nerf gun is one of the Christmas presents I received from the Greenhalgh family. Tell them thanks please. Next is a sick jazz shirt that I found and bought for fifty pesos. Totally worth it. I wear it to bed every night and I have happy dreams. Next are the youth of Ixcotel and Bosque. We play basketball with them. They are pretty cool. Then, Alejandra's baptism which we had yesterday. Then, pictures of Adrian, one of our investigators. He is a lawyer working for a political party and it's election time. So he is working a bunch. He never sees his family or us these days and it was really bothering him. So one day, he was in his car, on the way to work, and he started to pray for help so he could see his family more. He was then struck from behind and is now in the hospital. He thinks he should have died, but didn't because this was God's answer. This is how he can see his family more. He asked us to come give him a blessing and he wanted a picture with his guardian angels. If you want to know more about his story, read Alma fifteen and just know that he wasn't a wicked lawyer before, but he sure had a bunch of questions. It's kind of eerie how similar some Book of Mormon stories are to real life. 

Anyways, I've got to go. I love and miss you all and just know that I'm still doing pretty darn swell here. The weather is nice, the pay is good, and you work with wonderful people. It's a good life. 

Love,

Elder Johnson

La GRIPA!!!!

That's spanish for cold. I caught a bad cold yesterday, but the way they say, "¡¿tiene gripa?!" makes you feel like you caught cancer. It was kind of a bummer day to get sick because it was the day of the baptisms for the Lopez family. They are like the coolest people ever. The dad is a member, but super inactive. He knows, however, that the happiest time in his life was when he was active in the church and he wants him and his family to get involved again. His wife, two daughters, and son, are not members. However, the wife and a daughter are now and the son is only six. We´re working with the other daughter still. But they are awesome. They are the first people I've baptized who I feel like actually have a desire to stay active for ever and who really understand the gospel. I got to do the ordinance for both of them and it was quite special, other than the runny nose, which I'm sure ruined several pictures. So it was a good cap to a good week.

So, you had questions about Idla, right? Well, she came to church this week, as promised and is still super interested. Everything was going along splendidly until gospel principles class, where we talked about the Plan of Salvation. That's when she dropped this atomic bomb, "What do you believe about babies who die before baptism? Because I had a baby who died at three months and I asked my pastor about it and he said that my baby was with Satan." Well, hermana, let's just turn right to Moroni chapter 8 and read the truth. After a very touching and spirit filled explanation, she then asked the question, "So what can I do to fully repent and live with my child again?" This is the point when the hermana who was getting baptized that day said, "That's the job of the elders." Yup, the work is moving along just fine here. My next transfer is the 6th of Feburary and I'll probably stay again to finish training my kid. Good chance I'll finish my first fourth of my mission in one area. 

I still haven't gotten my package yet, and I'm really looking forward to it. I am super jealous that dad went to a Jimmer game and I want to hear how he did. 

Can you believe it, I already have to go? Pray that I can find some new investigators please! Love ya!
Love,
Elder Johnson

Buenas.......

I never know what time it is here. See, they don't use am and pm. They use días, tardes, y noche and I don't know when they begin or end. I've asked three different natives this question and I've received three different answers. So I just use buenas...... and they understand that I'm greeting them.

On to stories: We are having amazing success this transfer. Like, incredible. We've put 9 baptismal dates and seven of them are real. We are going to put two more real ones this week. We are going to baptize a family next Sunday. The Lord wants that Elder Bridgeraj and I work. So we are working. I won't lie, I'm like two weeks behind in my journal because I just crash to bed every night. To put things in perspective, our entire zone, like 14 missionaries, has put like 5 dates. My companion and I had six for one Sunday. things are going great.

Alright, I'm already out of time, so quick story: So we have made a goal to knock 4 doors everyday, for several reasons. First, we want to contact more people. Second, Elder Bridgeraj wants to learn how to contact. Third, knocking doors is a terrible experience unless you are used to it, se we are getting used to it. Finally, we have met some really cool people. Like Idla. Idla is an old lady. I was really hesitant about her at first because her door had a "This house is Christian, everyone is Welcome" sticker on the door and that generally means super Christian person who does not want to change. She opened the door, told us to come back the next day. We came back and knocked and nobody answered. We figured she had given us a false time so she wouldn't have to really talk with us and moved on. The next day, we came back to visit her neighbors and lo and behold, we found her leaving her house, "You never came yesterday!" "Yes we did, we knocked right at 4 like we said" "No you did not, I was waiting. Did you ring the doorbell?" "There's a doorbell? Oh." So we put another time, later that day. Showed up 10 minutes late. "You're late! I've been waiting." Okay, crazy lady. But we started teaching. And teaching. And taught the first lesson. She ate everything up. At the end, she told us the secret: She is baptist, but is sick of her church. She has had a lot of problems lately and has been praying. Then we showed up. Many members of her family are Mormon. She has already read the Book of Mormon. Several times. She decided to listen to the missionaries for the first time in her life. And more: The house she is living in is the second house of the pastor of her Church. She feels like she has to do whatever he says because really she is living off of his kindness. But the other day, guess what happened? Her son, who never calls her, never supports her, never associates with her, called her right after one of her prayers to tell her that he had bought a house for her right across the street. Her own house. Then we knocked on her door. Yup, she is convinced that these are signs from God that she should listen to our message. I'd certainly believe that. So we are going to put a baptismal date with her next week too. The Lord is preparing people and it is amazing.

Then, we put three baptismal dates with the world's coolest family. Turns out the law of chastity is a great baptismal lesson.

Got to go. Love you all. Bye!

Curse you, Shakira!

Okay, bad news all: President has officially restrited internet time. We have gone from spending two hours on Preparation day writing to friends, family, and President to forty five minutes. Yup, we are back to MTC style letters: short, rushed, scattered, and infinitely less inspiring than the unrestricted Elder Johnson. Kidding about that last part, but just be aware that my letters may become shorter. Sorry. The reason for this change has to do with, of all people, Shakira. See, she decided to go and make very popular Spanish language music and many missionaries, as it turns out, lack self control. So instead of writing families and friends, they decided to watch Shakira music videos on Youtube and I can't help but agree with the President's opinion that this does not help them focus on the work. 

But, to the good stuff. This week went great. Like, spectacularly great. What happened was we started progressing again here in Bosque. After Paty's baptism, we had kind of run out of things to do. We still had a bunch of investigators, but none of them were really progressing that much. We still needed and were not receiving a bunch of member support. We tried to develop the work for a bit, but that didn't really work out. But this week, things started moving again. For example, our numbers of investigators in Sacrament meeting were hovering near two a week. Sometimes one, sometimes three, never more than that. This week seven came, including two families. We had been putting like one baptismal date a week before. Last week: 5. And three of them are looking pretty legit. Here are the stories:

First, we have Luis. I have talked about Luis before. He is fourteen years old and I started teaching him in my first transfer. In our first lesson with him, we put a baptismal date. He had never come to church between that time and this Sunday. Some lessons, he appeared super interested in our message and our Church. Other lessons he seemed like a  bored thirteen year old kid who didn't know how to say no. But we could never drop him because he always expressed a desire for baptism. So, the other day we were walking to Luis's house and we ran into none other than Luis himself. Luis told us yeah, he had time to listen and also something very interesting: some neighbor had accused him of stealing. He asserts that it wasn't him and that he had been in his house all night in the presence of his parents. Also, the neighbor said Luis stole like a value of 23000 pesos, which, judging from Luis's neighborhood, means that Luis would have had to steal the man's house. ANyways, Luis was clearly looking for help with this problem. We were going to teach the ten commandments, but we changed on the spot. We turned to the Book of Mormon to answers and I went to Helaman where we found the story of Nephi praying on his tower. What happened? Well, as Nephi was praying, a crowd gathered and began to listen. Some didn't like Nephi's claims of sins and began to falsely accuse him of law breaking. Nephi then received help from God, revelation about the assasination of the chief judge. What do you think happened after this, Luis? Luis began to get very excited, "Well, I imagine, I think, I would say that the people went and looked and found the chief judge dead. And then they would accuse Nephi because he knew beforehand, right?" Exactly, Luis. But Nephi did not compromise his standards. He remained faithful and confident in God. What happened? He received more help and was vindicated from all the false charges. Moral of the story, Luis: Nephi began the story praying. This is how to receive divine help for temporal problems. Second, stay true to your standards. So are you going to come to church tomorrow? Yup, 100% sure. And then Luis prayed. During his prayers, he always prayed for his family. In this prayer, he said these words, but in Spanish, "Father, thank you for sending me the missionaries for helping me not feel alone in this world."

Yeah, I want to baptize him real bad now. And he finally came to church. This is the message of listening to the Holy Ghost in order to help others. I know that I am receiving help every day. I really have more really cool stories about really cool people, including one about how an investigator fought with her mother in law and now comes to church, but I am out of time. I am sorry Colton, that I could not write you this week and I'll try to do better next week. Love you all!

Love,

Elder Johnson 

Happy New Year!

Hey there neighbors, can you do the otter dance?

Aww, the holiday season is over.....I'm actually really happy about that! Now, everybody can return from there family's house and can either a. start helping us bring investigators to church or b. start being investigators again. Yup, missionary life has, in fact, changed me that much.   New years has always been one of my least favorite holidays. I don't like resolutions, I won't lie. I've never really made them. Before my mission, I didn't like resolutions because I was lazy. Now, I don't like resolutions because year long goals don't really motivate me. I like to motivate myself. Daily, weekly, and monthly goals help me to work harder and eventually add up to big changes by the end of the year, but yearly goals are forgotten quickly. Also, New Years just means that I have to waite 358 days more until Christmas again. Not cool in my book. But, I did REALLY enjoy New Year's here.

In Mexico, they do what they always seem to do for holidays: blow things up, eat really big meals really late at night, break piñatas, get drunk. However, we spent New Years with Andres, who is one of my favorite people ever. Andres lives in Huayapam and if I could choose a place to live in Mexico, I would live in Huayapam. Huayapam is up high and really peaceful, with a big, pretty park and a big, pretty Catholic church. Also, Andres lives there and he has an American house. The house in and of itself is not very American, as far as design or style goes, but inside it is completely and totally bedecked with pictures and posters of the United States and United States' pop culture. Also, Andres buys and makes the most delicious desserts on the face of the planet. Many people are still waiting desperately for a famous Andres flan or cake. He is nineteen years old and a convert of one year. He met with the missionaries, went to Church, and got baptized before his mother did the same. He is awesome. And on New Years, he delivered. He made a delicious leg of pig, glazed and to die for. He made an awesome cake for us, which I devoured. He ordered us a taxi to take us home on time. Best of all, he gave my companion and I ties for the New Year, which I love. I had a great New Year. My companion, not so much, mostly because he is not used to living in Bosque and could not sleep through all the fireworks.

So, a few weeks ago I told you the story of me "dropping" a man in the baptismal font.  Well, here's another baptism story:

 Elder Edwards baptized a little girl in his last area. He was determined to do it right. He did not want to have to do it again. She was a little scared of the water. So when they did it, everything was going smoothly until her dress start floating out of the water. Elder Edwards, determined to get it right in one try, push her farther down. That's when he noticed that she had started to struggle, so he promptly let her back up. She was sobbing; some scary white missionary had ruined her baptism by trying to drown her!

Anyway, I should probably tell you a little bit about my new companion. His name is Elder Bridgeraj and nobody will ever be able to pronounce his name correctly for two years. He is from Canada. But his family is from Guayana. But his name is from India. Yeah, I know, pretty cool. He is my hijo. As they say, I was born in Bosque, I was raised in Bosque, and now I have reproduced in Bosque. Missionary lingo is disturbing sometimes. Anyways, Elder Bridgeraj likes spicy food, doesn't conjugate verbs, says hi to everyone, borrachos included, on the street, wears a lot of cologne (I say he is fighting a losing battle. When you live in Mexico, you just end up smelling like Mexico after a while), like Kobe Bryant (blech), and loves everything about Mexico. He is pretty cool. He is totally willing to learn, and is teaching me to be a more enthusiastic missionary. I already know that it is going to be a good transfer.

Well, I accidentally had to write my weekly letter to the Presidente twice (dang aplication error!) and I'm already out of time. Love you and miss you all and have a very happy new year!

Love,

Elder Johnson

Simba

So we found this....animal the other day. I wish I would have gotten a picture. It was big and lay itself proudly on the roof of a house. Its fur was gold and bushy, curling around its head in what definitely was a mane. I'm not sure what the laws are here, but I'm pretty convinced that it was a lion and not your typical dog. At least it was half lion. There's no other way. Maybe it was the mysterious lion of Oaxaca, who wisely watches over its shores.....or maybe it was a very lion-like dog. Whatevskis. To business.

I'm staying!!! I'm very happy about that. I love Bosque. I love my ward, the members, inactives, investigatores, strange people I meet, everyone. I love how big it is, I love the challenges that make me think. I love the Spirit here. I love how the work is progressing. I love the hope I have for the future. Bosque will be great. Here's the kind-of-bad news: Elder Edwards is leaving. I say kind of bad because I had a really good time with Elder Edwards and I learned a lot from him. It will be sad to watch him go. He's off to Yayaupam with Elder Castellano, who I have heard is very strange. Good luck to Elder Edwards. He's a good Elder and I'm sure he'll be fine. It will not be so sad to greet my kid because I'm training this transfer! Yay! My district will still be small, but instead of Elder Nataren and his kid, it will be Elder Nataren and Elder Graves, the second nicest missionary from my generation (the nicest is Elder Jolly, who loves up to his name like a rockstar. I don't know if you've seen the Scrubs episode with the guy who nobody wants to give bad news to, even Kelso, but that's Elder Jolly. Best smile ever). Elder Graves is also awesome and I'm excited to work with him. I don't know if you remember, but I did divisions with him in my first transfer. He's a cool guy. Taggart met him briefly in the temple once.

Oh, speaking of Taggart: guess who is going to be the compeñero de Elder Harris, the child of Elder Nataren? A certain Elder Fuenzalida, who served briefly in the Ogden Utah Spanish speaking mission. Yes, Elder Fuenzalida is still alive and kick and it is giving my president a headache. Fuenzalida is the headcase of the mission. He has a lot of time here but is still junior companion. He's never had a companion longer than a transfer. His kid, the only one he has ever had, went home after his transfer with Fuenzalida. So good luck to Elder Harris (by the way, I should probably explain to those who don't know that a kid is a missionary who you train in the field. They don't talk much because they don't know the language, but generally they are super eager and awesome. Being a trainer is the goal).

Those are the transfers. I really don't have much to say because we had a highly enjoyable forty five minute conversation yesterday. Yesterday, we had our services with Ixcotel, the other ward in our building. Adolfo got confirmed. Let me just tell you that Adolfo is wayyyyyyyyyyy happier now. He makes jokes. I see him smile every time we meet. He is active and things are looking up for him. Let's here for the power of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in people's lives. Then, after the meeting, we baptized Pati and we actually did it with no major mistakes, other than using the same water from our last baptism because we don't know how to drain the font in Spanish. After that, we rushed off to Tlacolula in order to see the newly built chapel that opens next month and to give the worst Christmas performance ever. Half of our soloists returned home this transfer, so we had like six stand ins. The mikes would cut in and out at random intervals. We couldn't hear the piano, so we always rushed ahead of it. I'm pretty sure we ruined Christmas in Tlacolulu. And destroyed whatever missionary work they had. But hey, on the bright side, they gave us really good tamales.

Anyways, thanks for all of the Christmas presents (I got a super cool singing tie that impresses everybody here). I love and miss you all, but to be frankly honest, I've got some work to do. Talk to you next week. Bye!

Love,

Elder Johnson

Its A Holly Jolly Christmas

Dear Holly Jolly Family,

So pretty big news this week: Adolfo got baptized! Yup, he still has a TON of problems, but he's baptized. His hair is getting long and nasty again, his daughter is still sick, his wife still wants to leave him, and he only has a little work, but he is baptized. He asked me to baptize him too. I don't know if I have explained this properly, but he's kind of a fat guy. Like, big. Bus driver big. And this was my first baptism. Yup, I dropped him in the font. And then I couldn't help him up. No big deal. But other than that, it was a really cool baptism. We asked Jesús, the two month returned missionary, to direct and it might have been the best decision I've ever taken. In like five minutes, Jesús had printed a program, gotten three families to come, and set up the entire room. It was a pretty strong Spirit there as well. After the baptism (oops, Adolfo), Elder Edwards and then Adolfo bore their testimonies. Adolfo is a very depressed guy, but he just talked about the happiness that he feels everytime he comes to Church. I was so proud of him for overcoming his problems spiritually. Strange guy, but my first real baptism, and I'm happy for him. I know he's taken the right decision and now he can just move forward. That's the goal of this life, right? Move forward, onward, and upward.

Also, I got chased down by a flock of goats. This isn't quite as big of news, but still pretty big. We were walking in San Francisco Tutla one day, being happy, when about six goats broke pasture and started cantering down the street behind us.We could hear their hooves on the pavement and all of the sudden, we both looked at each other and said, "Quick, stampede, in the gorge! SIMBA'S DOWN THERE!!" and then died of laughter. Just a note: we don't like making references to things of the normal world because it doesn't help us concentrate in any way, so we have a goal: Only one disney reference a day. Yeah, we had to put a goal. It's how we roll.

On Thursday, I got to go to the Sierra for the first time. The Sierra is the name for all the pueblos (villages) in the mountains. It's technically part of my area, which is why my area is the biggest in the mission. It's a two hour drive just to get there and a bunch of members (less actives, for some strange reason (they have to go to our chapel, which is two hours away by car and most of them don't have cars (I don't think I explained that))) live there. Saulo, our Elder's quorum president, drove us out there because it is also his job to work with the less actives. Also, I think he wanted four hours in a car with us to best discuss how to teach his girlfriend/fiance. Her name is Ariadna and I think I already explained the first lesson we had with her. We knew it was a special lesson the moment we left the room, but we didn't know how special until Sierra day. Saulo told us that she loves us, and thinks we're something special. She is terrified that we will get transferred on Christmas because this is the first time that she wants to continue the lessons. She came to our English class on Saturday and is practicing her English. She came to our Missionary Christmas Presentation Thing Sunday. Saulo is convinced that this is it: She is finally going to be baptized and they are finally going to get married. The only problem is her manipulative parents. They are very against this whole Saulo thing. But we are going to teach her at least one last time before the transfers (Merry Christmas Elders! You have to leave your awesome area). I just have to trust that the Lord has a plan for me and for her. Because he does.

All in all, life here in Bosque is pretty good right now. Talking with other missionaries makes me realize that right now, Elder Edwards and I have a TON of investigators and a ton of work. Work is the goal here; if you don't have work, you are either bored or depressed. We're neither. We are happy. I'm kind of sad for these upcoming transfers because I'm pretty sure I or Elder Edwards will leave because right now, the mission needs trainers and we are essentially trainers now. I don't want to leave Bosque: I love my ward, they love me, I know and feel comfortable with the area, I love our investigators, my companion is great, I have a scheduled New Year's Eve dinner with Andres and he always has the most delicious desserts, and, of course, I want to teach people like Ariadna and Adolfo more. I hope I get another transfer like this, with a companion that is good and helps me in all things, who I get along with, and an area that is responding to our efforts. It's possible that I want. Still, I'm extremely grateful for the time the Lord has given me and I know that I will have a great mission no matter what so long as I try to do what is right. That applies to life as well. Just do what's right and stop worrying about the future.

Anyways, I love and miss you all! I look forward to the phone call and the package.

Merry Christmas!!!!

Love,

Elder Johnson

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Fabric Softener

*****Family and Friends****** I am starting this letter sort of in the middle. Riley is describing pictures that he sent to us. I left part of this in, even though I can't figure out how to publish many pictures on this blog, just because there is a shout out to Jordan Hadley, and his cousin, Ellen. And, as usual, it shows Riley's true personality. So, please bear with us.********




Masterburger is the second best burger place on the face of the planet. It's really good. Also, it sells shakes, which are something of a rarity down here. In fact, the Masterburger shake was the first shake I've had since....I don't remember. We don't get ice cream that much. For somebody coming from Provo, home of the Malt Shoppe and Snuffy's, this has been a hard transition. Masterburger has made it easier. Also, you might catch a glimpse of Elder Nataren, my district leader. He's a goofy guy. He only has six months in the mission, but that's two more than Elder Edwards and I and four more than his companion, which comprises our entire district. We don't have much experience. Many missionaries are still amazed that Elder Edwards and I are companions because we technically are still training. So we have fun as a district. More about Elder Nataren: he's from Monterrey, he's 21 years old and a recent convert, he worked with Jesús Cabrera (the recently returned missionary in our ward) before his mission while Jesús was on his mission, he can´t drive, he makes frequent attempts to steal my ties, those glasses actually do ABSOLUTELY nothing, he only wears them to look smarter, he's convinced he's going to marry Ellen after seeing her picture, and he's my friend. He's not very serious, but he's a good guy and trying to be a good missionary. I'm glad he's my district leader. People not appearing in the pictures of wonderful food are Saulo (my Elder's quorum president), Ezra (his younger brother), and la Hna Angela (their mom). Saulo and Ezra are both returned missionaries. Saulo served in San Diego and therefore can speak English and understands the pain of being a newbie in a new land with a new language. Ezra served in Leon and was assistant for the last six months of his mission, which ended in about september. Yes, Jordan Hadley knows him. Saulo also is going to take us to the Sierra this week, which is part of our area but only accessible by car because it is two hours away. It will be the first time we go if we go. Also, we are teaching Saulo's girlfriend/essentially fiancé. They've been dating for quite a while and she has listened to three pairs of missionaries before us. Like Saulo, she is very intelligent and has a bunch of questions. We've only taught one lesson but it might've been the coolest lesson I've participated in in four months. I really can't explain how strong the Spirit was, but she summed it up pretty nicely: Saulo told her, during his testimony, that this is the fourth time now that she had taken the discussions and every time the feeling is the same and that feeling is the Spirit. She cut him off there and said, "No. No es lo mismo esta vez. Es más fuerte," which means no, no it's not the same this time. It's stronger. Yeah, that was pretty cool. Saulo told us afterwords that he thinks this time she's going to get baptized. Go them! Ezra is actually leaving this week. He's going to America to study English and I think he's kind of nervous. He's a little bit of a momma's boy. He doesn't like to study. I think he'll be living in Provo so Taggart, if you meet an Ezra from Oaxaca, befriend him.

Next is a picture of Mannuel and I playing cops. I was waiting for an investigator to show up, don't worry! I don't waste time. Also, Mannuel is part of a less active family, so it wouldn't be wasting time anyways. Also, he is my favorite person. They don't have much money (that wall is part of their house), but they love missionaries. Mannuel will be coming to the U.S. with me when I come home, so make room for a eight year old. He is awesome and my best friend.

Story from this week: so one night, we had set up a time to meet the Hno Cabrera in order to have a lesson with a member. We were going to teach Adolfo, who lives in San Francisco Tutla, which is at one end of our rather large area and Hno Cabrera lives on the other end. So we had to wait a bit for him to show up. Our meeting place was outside the house of the Hno Flores and as Elder Edwards and I were waiting, the Hna Flores showed up. We talked. As I have said, I don't have a sweater. I was wearing short sleeves at the time because it is hot during the day, especially when you walk everywhere. But at this point, it was night and kind of chilly. The Hna Flores, being awesome as she is, offered me something and I didn't know what it was. However, I am senior companion and have to at least appear to know things so that the members don't lose faith in their missionaries. I accepted the thing. Turns out is was a full blown Sherlock Holmes style coat that her son had left behind after he returned from his mission. And she refused to take it back. So now I have this coat and I don't know what to do with it because I don't like to wear it during the day and I can't store it in my backpack. I'll just solve crimes in it, I think. Christmas crimes because I also have a Santa Hat that unfortunately I am not allowed to wear very often.

The last picture was inspired by Colton. In his last email to me, he asked for a description of my neighborhood. Well, this is the art that greets me as a turn onto my street from Camino Nacional. You'll see Jack Skellington if you'll look, as well as an alien/bug/predator that I call chuppy in tribute to Aubrey. Don't worry, my neighborhood is very nice and peaceful. Honestly, the graffiti makes it "homey." It's not Oaxaca if it hasn't been painted.

Well, a little bit about my first full week with Elder Edwards: tiring. I am exhausted every night. Elder Juarez and I didn't work this hard. It's a good exhausted because it is exhausted in the name of the Lord, but I am still tired all the time now. And, although we work harder, our numbers are lower because we actually follow the Preach My Gospel definition of a lesson and others don't. But we might have found a way around that. See, most people envision a lesson as sitting down in a house, teaching for 30 minutes to an hour, beginning and ending with a prayer. We realized that we didn't need the house or the thirty minutes. We were going to do it in the street. So one night, we were walking and some guy, seeing to Gringos, called us over to his pick up. We went. He had lived in North Carolina for four years and actually spoke quite a bit of English. It was perhaps the weirdest conversation I've had because all three of us were switching between the two languages interchangeably, sometimes midsentence. Yet we all understood. We began to contact him. We shared a short, five minute blipit about prophets. He challenged to pray about it. He accepted. And then we said, "hey, could we leave you with a prayer?" Now you would think that just randomly leaving a guy and his nephew sitting in their pickup at 8 o clock at night with a prayer would be a little weird, awkward, and/or uncomfortable. It wasn't. He was just like, "cool" and we said the prayer, invited him to the English classes we are starting next saturday and left. Not gonna lie, just leaving your contacts with prayers changes everything. Why? Because a contact turns into a first lesson with a prayer and instead of leaving the contact with a challenge or an appointment, you leave the with the Spirit AND those other things. It's good.

Well, point is, we've found some new people to teach this week and we have a ton of work and no time. By the by, yes, we have our choir every week but it is now a choir AND a play based on A Christmas Carol, Plan of Salvation version. We have a performance this Saturday in Atoyac and this Sunday in Amapolas (my stake). We don't do anything the weekend of Christmas, which I will be spending with the Cabrera's because it's a tradition. See, poor little (not that little he's 11) Ricky Cabrera has his birthday on the 24th which means he has never had a party with friends in his life. Instead, he gets the missionaries every year and I would hate to disappoint. So we are going to bring a gift as well because the Cabrera's deserve it. They are THE family of our ward.

I have to get going cuz I still owe Colton a letter. I love and miss you all, and I will have a very Merry Christmas if you promise me to have a very merry Christmas. Deal? Peace out
Love,
Elder Johnson